Butt  Check
by Ava Miranda Dakedavra
Summary: "What was that for?" Luna asked, already reaching into his pocket to twine his gloved hand with hers. "Making sure I still had a butt," he mumbled. TwinExchange, 100th fanfiction! T for safety


**This is my 100****th**** story! WOOHOO! And it's the day after my birthday too! FIFTEEN, AWW YEAH! Well, it's for the TwinExchange, actually, and it's got a huge Potter Puppet Pals reference at the end. :D**

**Prompt:**

**Muggle transportation**

**Pairing:**

**Luna/Harry**

**Quotes:**

**"Up, up, and away"**

**"Don't be thick"**

**"Do I have to answer that?"**

**Theme:**

**Severus Snape's birthday**

* * *

><p>Harry was freezing slowly to death on a bench outside of a Muggle café. He'd thought he'd only have to wait a few minutes, but now, it had slowly turned into a very long thirty minutes. He couldn't feel his nose, despite the fact that he was very sure it was a faucet at the moment, and he felt that his hair could've been classified as a weapon, being frozen with the tips wet so that they tried to gouge his eyes out. He wondered if he ever had a rear end anymore, or if it would remain frozen to the bench when he stood up. <em>If<em> he ever stood up.

"Hello, Harry," a dream-like voice said, making him look up to see that Luna was smiling down at him, "Are you ready to go?"

"Mmhmm," he said, easing up carefully and then checking the bench. Butt – check.

"What was that for?" Luna asked, already reaching into his pocket to twine his gloved hand with hers.

"Making sure I still had a butt," he mumbled.

"Oh Harry – don't be thick," she said, tightening her scarf around her head. He looked at her appearance. She had on bright turquoise leggings with a pair of orange denim shorts, a green tank top and a black vest nearly being hidden underneath her blue beaded shawl. She had bright pink fuzzy boots, and the scarf that had been wrapped like a headband around her ears was a bright neon yellow. Compared to his dark jeans, grey turtleneck and brown jacket with a green scarf, she looked electrifying.

"Knight Bus?" he muffled as he buried his chin and mouth into his scarf.

"No – Muggle bus," she said. "I don't have any Wizard money on me, and I've always been curious."

"Oh, Luna!" he groaned, "Come on. That thing isn't nearly warm enough."

"But it is fun," she said, already tugging him to the bus stop. When the tall, double decker bus pulled up, she watched Harry pay with Muggle money and followed him. As he was about to sit down at a window seat, she grabbed his arm and tugged him toward the staircase.

"Luna, it's freezing outside," he complained.

All she replied with was "Up, up and away!"

So they sat alone at the top of the bus, watching as snow began to coat them and the rest of Muggle London. Harry almost cheered with relief as they walked into the warm Leaky Cauldron. As he was taking off his scarf, he glanced at his watch and gave a yelp of shock.

"Luna! Luna! Today, today – we're _late_!" he cried, watching her purse her lips a little and arch an eyebrow just a bit to show that she was shocked as well.

"Well come on then, Silly, let's get in the floo," she said, grabbing their coats and following him into the green flames.

* * *

><p>"Where are they, where are they?" Hermione bit her lip as she glanced out of the windows, "They said they'd take the bus."<p>

"The Knight Bus?" Fred asked as he peered over his girlfriend's shoulder.

"No, the Muggle bus," she answered.

"Maybe they got in a crash," George said as he looked over her other shoulder. "It'd be really dreadful – "

" – Really sad too – " Fred continued.

" – And dreadfully ironic because – "

" – He's 'the Boy Who Lived' who – " they said.

" – Died in a Muggle car accident," Hermione snorted. "That'd be him."

"Who died?" Percy asked, blinking as he adjusted his glasses.

"Nobody," she rolled her eyes and flicked the curtains shut. The fire began to roar with the arrival of the two, Harry stepping out and wrapping a bright yellow scarf around his neck with Luna tying his green scarf around her ears.

"You are _late,_ Mister," Fred began, arms crossed and glaring.

"You didn't call – didn't leave a note," George sniffed as Hermione sighed.

"We thought you two were dead in a ditch somewhere, freezing to death!"

"All of the years we cared for you – this is how you repay us? Making us sick with worry?" he looked as if he was ready to sob.

Harry rolled his eyes, "Hey Fred, hey George."

"Nice scarf, Cap'n Poofter," George grinned as he saluted, making him glance down at the yellow thing wrapped around his neck. Harry then glanced over at Luna's head and shrugged, feeling no need to argue with her about the scarves.

"You are going to be in so much trouble," Hermione hissed as she pushed him and Luna towards the kitchen.

"I am not – he doesn't even care," he whispered back before he grinned and stepped into the room. Snape was staring down at a birthday cake with the candles melting dangerously close to the cake. He had a large, feathery party hat perched atop his head, courtesy of Dumbledore, who had a small blue version of it. He looked up as Harry walked into the room and his frown deepened.

"Happy Birthday, Snape!" Harry grinned, "Hope you don't mind that I popped in a little late."

He opened his mouth to say something, but was stopped by McGonagall giving him the Stink Eye as she tried to keep a very drunk Ron from diving face first into the cake. Instead he looked back up at Harry and frowned even more, "Do I have to answer?"

"I already know what the answer is," he chuckled and shrugged as Fred and George dropped Victoire on Snape's shoulders.

"Ooh," she said as she pointed down at the cake, "Pwetty, Unca Gor!" She then looked at the pink feathery thing that was tickling her and gave a squeal of delight, "Pwetty, Unca Snape! We sing now?"

Snape looked up at her and sighed, nodding.

Ron then stood up on top of the table and began to loudly sing a song he'd thought up a few seconds ago.

"Ohhhhh! Happy Hogwarts birthday! Magic wizard birthday! Fun wizard happy birthday! Fun, fun, fun! Magic flavour birthday cake! Wizard wishes you will make! Happy birthday dance with every one! Two! Three! Four! Birthday magic wand! - Party happy birthday! - Wizard party school! Magic magic wizard magic party! Gryffindor! - Party more! - Hufflepuff! - Wizard stuff! - Ravenclaw! - Hell naw! - Pretty sure that's everybody! Happy Hogwarts birthday! Wizard school party! Children eating cake inside their mouths! Hogwarts lesson number one - never not be having fun! Children eating cake inside their mouths!" Ron then toppled backwards off the table, sending the cake flying up after him and landing on his head.

Everybody was silent before Percy sighed loudly, "Oh,_ Ron…._"

"Is Unca Won sick, Unca Snape?" Victoire asked.

"Very, very sick," he said.

"How'd he get sick?"

"He played with your Uncle Harry," he smirked.

"Unca Hawwy! You fix Unca Won wight _now!_" Victoire demanded, "He wuin cake time!"

"Don't worry, Victoire, we've got another cake," Hermione said as she stepped over Ron, heading to the fridge but being detoured when Ron yanked her down with her, getting cake and icing all over her.

"Ronald Weasley," she growled.

"Looks like fun," Luna said, stooping down and picking up a handful of the cake. Turning to Harry, she grinned as he began to back away.

"No, Luna, no," he said before running out the front door, screaming "NOOO!" as she chased him.

* * *

><p><strong>Ohhh…that was terrible, wasn't it? It was. I apologize. But, let's see, this was a huge list of firsts.<strong>

**First story I've written as a fifteen year old.**

**First TwinExchange Montly Challenge fic I've ever done. **

**First 100****th**** fanfiction I've ever written.**

**First Harry-x-Luna I've ever written.**

**First time I've ever used that song in a fanfiction. :D By the way, that song belongs to Neil Cicierga and not me, and I also don't own **_**anything**_** Harry Potter related.**


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